I have made myself some tea and now I’m watching Million dollar baby in an attempt to not binge/purge.
I just managed to eat 700 calories in nuts and dried fruit. Fuck. A part of me thinks that now I might as well eat the brownie and cookies and then purge. But the other (more sane) part reminds me that I have already purged one time today and it was pretty awful so doing it again = not a great idea. I know I shouldn’t binge and purge but 700 calories, that’s a fucking lot. But I’m sure if I eat the other stuff too will only make things worse. Right?
I will do better tomorrow, I really will. Until dinner I will only have liquids. Seriously I have to stick to it. Why?
1. Summertime = bikini-time
2. Graduation. It will probably be the last time I see a bunch of people and I really don’t want them to remember me as fat!
3. University next year. I definitely don’t wanna be the new fat student
4. I would like to wear shorts
5. I don’t wanna be the fat friend
6. I would like to be able to dress in the morning without being disgusted
7. I know I would do better at my exams if I were thinner
8. I want to feel OK about myself
9. I want my old clothes to fit me well and not this tightly
10. I need new clothes and shopping when you’re fat is not a joy.
I only have two exams left and since I have already fucked up my average there’s no (well not as much) pressure so I just need to focus on losing weight.
My life would be so much easier if I looked like this
You could go for a walk or run to avoid binging (if the weather is nice) and burn some calories that way. Stay strong. :)
SvarSlet