Damn it!

Of course I didn’t stick to the plan today.

This is what happened: I was doing okay until like 3 pm. Then while studying I suddenly couldn’t stop thinking about the cookies in the kitchen, but I reminded myself that even though I’m disappointed I haven’t lost weight the solution is not to eat more shit. But the cookies are stuck in my head and then I also started fantasizing about nutella. (it has been in the kitchen for a week but I haven’t touched it!) Then I went to the kitchen and made myself a very healthy snack consisting of 2 wholegrain crackers with low fat cheese. But you know what, the whole eat-frequently-small-meals-to-avoid-binging doesn’t work for me. Cause after eating my snack I thought, screw it, I have already not stuck to the plan so I might as well eat whatever food I can get my hands on and then throw up. Yeah, sure great idea. So then I ate two buns with nutella, three cookies, dates (?) and a bowl of cereal.

And after throwing up I had dinner with my family. Lovely I must say, just lovely.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Astrid! This is not the way to lose weight. This is the reason you are already fat. STOP EATING!

(Arrgghh I'm so angry with myself, that this could be me)

Well, there's always tomorrow ......