This pretty much describes my last week:
Stressing -> eating -> purging -> no time to study -> more stress -> more food -> more throwing up -> even less time to study = doing really bad at my exams
It’s so stupid! My exams have never been as important as they are now and I have never been getting as bad grades as now. I think it’s time for me to realize that I will never get to study psychology cause I’m just too stupid. Too bad.
I used to think that I was pretty smart, like that was my thing. You know, I not nice, I’m definitely not fun to be around (even some of my friends have stopped inviting me when they’re hanging out, for god’s sakes) and I’m so fucking fat. Being smart was supposed to be my thing but I guess it’s just something I have been making up to feel better about myself.
I haven’t weighed myself in almost a week, but last time I had gained and my eating has definitely not been weight loss worthy. So yeah, still fat. Lately I have been feeling like, what’s the point? I keep trying to not eat but I just keep getting fatter. Whyyyy. Why can’t someone in the universe just see how badly I want this and let me have it, just this one time?
While I wait for the universe to do its thing I will find some pretty pictures:
- Constance Jablonski. That hair is so cute.
- Lauren Hutton
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