same old

Since I couldn’t binge this morning I turned to a much more acceptable coping-mechanism: exercise! That’s right, so since I’ve been back, the last 10 days I’ve been at the gym 7 times! Yes sir. I was pretty sore when I woke up so I just took a yoga class. And yeah, I also find it pretty boring, but I think I finally understood some of the moves cause my legs started to really hurt. I also went shopping, I bought two dresses in size 36 (us 6, uk 8 (??)) and they fit pretty well. It’s good to know I’m not completely overweight. One of the dresses is very tight and I think it will look so good once I lose these love-handles. Anytime soon! (never stop believing….!! Lol ) I also bought a book, “The curious incident of the dog in the night-time”, that’s what it’s called. I’m also reading a book with novels my Raymond Carver and they’re so great.

Also since I couldn’t binge this morning I binged in the evening. Fuck me, I’m so retarded. Sometimes I think I only binge so I can purge. But the main reason is probably just that I’m a week food-addict. It’s funny, I have never binged/purged as little as I’m doing now and I have never weighed this much. (funny funny!...) It just doesn’t make any sense. I always thought I would lose much more if I stopped binging/purging because I never got enough out but I guess that’s not the case. I think mia is slowly creeping up on me again, not that she/it ever really left but she kept quiet. (Does anybody else find it weird to personify their ED??!! It seems like a lot of people do it, but I’m not really feeling it. But it makes it easier to write about.)

I don’t really have anything to say. Throwing up makes me more depressed.

Ps. I know I have been terrible at commenting on your guys’ blogs lately, I will work on it.